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Is it normal that Mark and I skip the gifts for our birthdays/holidays more often than not?
Scratch that. It doesn't matter that it's normal. It matters that it works for us. And it does, indeed, work for us.
I've mentioned before that Mark and I are both rather frugal. We're both savers and beyond the basics like groceries and toiletries, we don't feel tempted to shop a lot. But it's more than that. I think the reason this non-gift-giving-thing works for us is because of our similar love languages. (Do you know about those? Totally browse the site if you don't -- so fascinating and so true. Better yet, take the quiz to find out about yours ranked from 1-5!)
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Mark and I have the same #1 ranked love language (touch) and #5 ranked love language (gifts). [How cool is that?! I love it so much.] Our #2-#4s differ a little bit, but all in all, it's pretty dang cool that we feel most loved the same way, and we're both fairly impartial to gifts. Does that mean we don't like giving or receiving gifts? No! But in our relationship with each other, this is something it's okay for us to skip over. Without anyone's feelings getting hurt. (Seriously.) And without anyone saying "don't-get-me-a-gift-but-really-if-you-don't-get-me-one-I'm-gonna-be-upset." :)
So this birthday--since our birthdays are 4 days apart--we'll exchange cards. Just as we have for most other birthdays and holidays in the past. Truth be told, I just always request for my card to be filled with an extra long note. (Can you guess what my #2 love language is?) ;)
What about you? Do you and your love speak the same love languages, or do they totally differ? I'd love to hear more!
You are loved!
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Totally not weird - we do exchange gifts for birthday since they are at opposite ends of the year, but we don't really do gifts for any kind of anniversaries. Happy Tuesday!
ReplyDeletewww.madeintheshadeblog.com
We do have the same number one love language. That being said, it's super interesting how different that same love language can be for us.
ReplyDeleteWe do exchange gifts--I see it as from being very much still in the newlywed we-don't-have-anything stage, haha, so it's practical! We got ourselves bikes for birthdays one year, and so have been gradually accumulating the stuff that's not quite necessary to life but sure can be nice to have over the years! We're not doing presents this year though since we're traveling right after our birthdays.
ReplyDeleteSo sweet! My husband's favorite giving love language is gifts, so we don't usually skip gifts but we do keep them simple. I'm with you, though - my favorite part is the card and the note. I've got cards from the last few years set out in our bedroom because they make me so happy! :)
ReplyDeleteThat's awesome that your love language is the same. I hope that I can find someone one day that has that in common with me as well.
ReplyDeleteI'm not big on receiving gifts but I love giving them! I'd rather get a random small gift for no reason than something on my birthday. I love cards and little notes the best! :)
ReplyDelete<3, Pamela
sequinsandseabreezes.blogspot.com
i say whatever works is what works! hubby doesnt care about birthdays and the like, but i do, so he gets spoiled and he tries really hard for me, which is what matters ;) its not always tangible gifts though, as always its the thought that counts :)
ReplyDeleteExactly, whatever works for you guys is what matters :) We like to spoil each other for birthdays but we are super low key for everything else.
ReplyDeleteThat's not weird at all. I love it, actually. Love is not measured in gifts!
ReplyDeleteMine and Matt's totally differ! We haven't taken the quiz in a while, though, so that would probably be useful. Sometimes, too, I think I'd like to be loved in all 5 languages.... whoops.
ReplyDeleteThats so good y'all are the same! Dillon and I are not haha, but we are working on it :) Have a great tuesday love!
ReplyDeleteRyan and my love languages differ slightly in terms of 1-3, but gifts are definitely our lasts, as well. We both really rely on words of affirmation and quality time. Physical touch is slightly higher for him, but it works for us :)
ReplyDeleteI think it's refreshing that you guys don't need gifts to show your love. I feel like every special day (holidays, birthdays, Mother's Day, Father's Day, Easter, Valentine's Day, etc) has become a gift giving day. Which has made gift giving a bit of a chore or obligation - which defeats the purpose altogether. Words of affirmation is my love language, so I'd prefer a love letter over a gift any day. Now that I'm a mom, the homemade gifts are my favorite!:)
ReplyDeletelove this.
ReplyDeleteWhen Russ and I were engaged, our love languages were pretty much identical--touch, time, words, service, and gifts. But now that we've been married for a few years I think things may have changed a little bit . . . we should definitely take the quiz again! :)
ReplyDeleteThis is sweet! That's great that you and Mark are so similar. I love to give gifts -- to anyone, but especially SW, and I tend to want to give it right away. But as special as it is to receive something from him, I'm with you on touch! A hug makes me feel like I'm what matters at that moment. Much love to you, friend!
ReplyDeletexo
Y'all are precious. It's great that your love languages are the same, but even more importantly that you are both aware of what your love languages are. I took the quiz awhile ago but have forgotten...so I'm off to take it again. I hope you are having a great week Elise.
ReplyDeleteJoey and I do not have the same #1 love language, which makes things challenging at times! It helps SO much though that we are aware of it and understand that even though we don't feel love the exact same way, we still love each other just as much! It's a good lesson in compromise too and placing the other's needs before your own!
ReplyDeleteThat's awesome you guys have the same love language! Me and my husband could not be more opposite, ha! My #1 IS gifts and that is low in his list. I've learned that we also tend to show love in the way we would want to receive it which sometimes can lead to hurt feelings. It's a work in progress :) Anyways, I'm glad y'all have something that works for you!
ReplyDeletePaige
tomatoesforcucumbers.com
It is a little different for David and me because David's birthday is on Christmas day so he always gets gifts but we definitely speak the touch language type and we love writing cards. Words written come easier to us.
ReplyDeleteHaha, I love this post! My husband and I could not be more opposite in love languages...and my #1 is gifts. He is extremely frugal, but has come up with a lot of frugal ways to love on me. And we are still learning how to love on each other when the different love languages come into play. We really loved The Five Love Languages...it all made soooo much sense!
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I are pretty close, my #1 is words of affirmation and my #2 is quality time. His #1 is quality time and #2 is words of affirmation! Both of our #5s are gifts too!
ReplyDeleteWe don't do gifts either! We generally just spend time together. DG is a big card giver, which is sweet. I'd rather cook him a meal instead. xo
ReplyDeleteOur love languages differ. Mine is quality time and his is words of affirmation. It can be challenging, but it is definitely easier when you know what your love language is!
ReplyDeleteIt's pretty awesome that you guys have the same ones :)
I love this! Gifts are #5 for both my husband and I too and we do give in to the "pressure" often to get each other gifts, they are usually gifts for the family that we can all use.
ReplyDeleteBut I love that you guys have the same #1 - how cool!!!
What's funny is that my husband and I ALWAYS talk about how we don't need to get each other anything for holidays/birthdays and we both wind up doing it behind each other's back. Every. Single. Time. I wish I had more self control when it came to saving/spending money!! Lol :)
ReplyDeleteI love that you and Mark speak the same (love) language! ;) My hubby and I are very much alike too! During pre-wedding counseling we took a personality quiz/survey deal and our Pastor said he had never married two people that were more alike! lol. He was a lit'l baffled by it, but it works! ;) Jason and I are good sans gifts too ...there are so many priceless gifts you can give each other that don't require opening a wallet! ;)
ReplyDeleteMy husband always goes overboard and as much as I love and enjoy the gifts, it's always too much. I need to see what love language I am.
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