My life might look weird to you, and that's okay with me.

I have changed a lot in the past 5 years. I've heard it said that your 20s is the decade with the most change, and I definitely believe that (even with 3ish more years to go!).

To the glory of God, over the past 5 years my heart has grown more and more in love with the Lord than ever. In prior years, I was a Believer (I  always remember seeking the Lord--even as a little girl!), but in many ways I was lost.

I particularly think about my time in college, and it still bewilders me to read the pages upon pages of prayer and Scripture in my journals while simultaneously thinking about how frequently I went out and got drunk, to point out one example. Or how I ran away from God in a lot of ways when my dad moved out for the first time (and back in, and back out, and back in, and back out... until my parents got separated and divorced). I was absolutely devastated. Looking back, I even wonder if I was depressed during some of that time. Whatever I was going through...I was completely and utterly heartbroken, fragile, and lost.

All that to say: God changes us. Slowly. From the inside out. He has done that to me in so many ways and in so many areas in my life. And you know what? That's why I am okay with who I am.

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I realize a lot of people might not understand many of the choices I make for myself and for my family. Or perhaps they don't understand the parts of me I've left behind and the parts of me that I've become. Maybe it's my beliefs on this or that topic. Maybe it's my view on the covenant of marriage. Maybe it's how I hear a song on the radio and immediately change the station. Or how I don't feel comfortable around a lot of cursing. I could make a long list of things that might look a little "weird" (or "goody two-shoes"...that's a common one too) in the eyes of society.

And can I tell you something? A little secret of mine? Being "weird/different" in the eyes of the world is okay with me. Scratch that. It's more than okay with me. I embrace it. I love it because I know that it comes from Christ. And--to take it even further--sometimes, when my decisions don't mesh with the world's expectations, well, sometimes that confirms and affirms that who I am is driven by Christ.

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That--that Scripture above--it's the Scripture that fuels me. If my life fits into the wide gate...if it looks like what everyone else is doing...well, then I'm missing something. In a very dangerous way. So I want to be different. I want my life to look different. I want others to see Jesus in the way I live, love, speak, and act. I want to shine for Him and reflect His grace and goodness.

So that's that. A slice of my heart. 

My sister's post (Life Lately) inspired me to finally write these words. They have been stirring within me for a while. I know I don't do everything perfectly (far from it!)--I am a sinner in need of a Savior. In need of His grace! But I hope this post encourages you to care a little less about what everyone else thinks, and care a little more about what Jesus thinks.

Be comfortable with being "weird/old-fashioned/lame/prude/etc." Because if being "weird" means you're living for Jesus, love it. Love it with all your heart.

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 "Everlasting

Your light will shine when all else fades

Never ending

Your glory goes beyond all fame

And the cry of my heart is to bring You praise

From the inside out"

 

Be who you are. Know Whose you are.

All to the glory of God! AMEN!

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