Morning lovelies!! Today I am sooo happy to co-host this posty-post with Cassie from True Agape. I loooove her blog, her heart, and the way she and her hubs seek Jesus in their marriage!
So...let's get to chatting about things Cassie & I wish we'd known before we got married. I'll tell you my 3, and then she'll tell you hers. What comes after? A giveaway!! With the Gary Chapman book Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married plus some cutiepatootie festive bookmarks for your reading pleasure. :)
Here are my 3 things...
ONE : The purpose of marriage is to reflect God's image. That's right. Marriage was not made for me, nor was marriage made to be just for my spouse. Marriage should be about God. Our marriages should reflect His image, specifically the Trinity...3 persons in one. Just as God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit work together in perfect unity, we should strive to reflect that sort of union with our spouse.
If that doesn't make sense, think of it like this:
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The closer the husband and wife move toward the Lord, the closer they get to each other. I love this analogy!! Before we got married, I didn't realize what a high calling marriage is: to reflect HIS image in everything...for His glory! Can I get a HALLELUJAH AMEN!?
TWO : Repaying an insult with a blessing is the hardest thing ever. In 1 Peter 3:9, Scripture instructs us to repay an insult with a blessing. Sounds lovely, right?! Well, it's a lot easier said than done when you're irritated and you live with the person who knows how to push your buttons better than anyone else!! If your spouse hurts your feelings, try to bless him instead of hurt his feelings too. When he is driving you crazy, seek a blessing. When you're just in a bad mood and want to be grumpy, meditate on His will for you! This whole return-an-insult-with-a-blessing-thing is still so hard for me, but Scripture tells us we will inherit a blessing by doing so!
THREE : Purity DOES matter. [This is one of those..."eeeeek!-should-I-really-say-this?!" moments. But living boldly for Christ was one of my 2013 goals...so...doing it.] I used to think that by my husband and I not having sex till our wedding night...well, I thought I was basically doing everything right in the purity department. I waited until marriage! I did it all right! Right?!?! WRONG! Purity means a lot more than exclusively sexual intercourse. And it's SO EASY to think, "Times have changed! The world is different now." God didn't create His word to be transient or fleeting. Listen: I love my husband so immeasurably. Even without having sex before marriage, I still have a hard time thinking about different ways I could have honored God more rather than falling for looking more like the world. This is a topic I am super passionate about because it is all to rare that women push each other toward purity these days. Regardless of where you are/where you've been in your walk with the Lord, I would love to answer any questions or talk more about this with you! Not because I did it perfectly, but because I didn't do it perfectly!! Just shoot me an email! :)
Now back to Cassie, our wonderful co-host from True Agape!
Here is what she wishes she'd known before getting married...
FOUR : That we could be so similar and so different at the same time. Ryan and I clicked so well because we have the same core beliefs on many topics. After being married for just over two years now I realize that yes we are very similar in those aspects we also have areas that we are very different in. The way we work, organize and think often are very different.
FIVE : Sex is sometimes an act of service. There are times that sex is not necessarily on our mind, but it is on our spouses. We must learn to be servant lovers when it comes to intimacy.
SIX : That love is a verb. Often times love is considered a felling and that it is, but it is more than that. It is an action. We must choose to show love to our hubby every day. Be that with our words, actions or spending habits.
Along the journey of marriage, we are sure there will be even more things that make us think, "Why didn't I know that beforehand?" So today we are giving away a copy of Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married by Gary Chapman (who is well known for The 5 Love Languages) along with 3 handmade bookmarks! Don't want/need these for yourself?! They make for lovely, thoughtful holiday gifts!!
Now get your cutie booty on over to True Agape to take a look around and find out more about Cassie! She is a Christian wife who enjoys cooking and running and who blogs about marriage. Then...(of course!) enter our giveaway below. YAY!
What is something you wish you knew before getting married?! We'd love to know!!
Excellent, excellent post from two very lovely ladies!!
ReplyDeleteThank you Kristal! :) You are quite lovely yourself!
DeleteLove the very first point you made - our premarital counselor drew that very triangle out for us! I think that is hands down the most important aspect of marriage- "The closer the husband and wife move toward the Lord, the closer they get to each other..." Thank you for the encouraging thoughts!!
ReplyDeleteyay! love that you've seen the "marriage triangle" before :) it couldn't make more sense!!!!
Deleteand you are most welcome, sweet lauren! glory to God! xx
I love love love this post! I wish we had taken pre-marital counseling more seriously. The priest that married us didn't push us very much, which felt comfortable at the time. And we truly did talk a lot about our issues. But I wish pre-marital counseling would have challenged us and that is the advice I will give to anyone who asks!
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your thoughts! The great thing is we can always learn and grow! So if you are still up for being challenged for the sake of bettering your marriage go for it! The book "The Love Dare" is for sure a challenge! Or even "The 5 Love Languages" if you are not already familiar with it.
Deletewonderful advice! i will say that post-marital studies (together as a couple) were a lot more beneficial to us than pre-marital counseling. for example, we took a "class" (more like a Bible/book study) called 2 Becoming 1. it was absolutely incredible. we learned so much about what God has to say about marriage and all He establishes and blesses through it. i guess advice/wisdom is more easily soaked in when you're in the thick of it..! ;)
Deletehugs!!! thanks for reading, girlie! xx
Love your top 3!
ReplyDeleteI've heard many good things about this book and think it's a great idea for a giveaway! Loved the post as well! I think number 2 definitely rings true for me.. I have a very hard time not fighting back after I've been hurt. It doesn't happen often but I do not handle it well when it does! Some great things to think about here!
ReplyDeleteOften times when we are hurt we react. We have to continue to respond instead. The difference between the two? React usually is an emotional reaction and responding is more thought out. It takes practice! Keep at girl!
DeleteAwesome post ladies, love it!!
ReplyDeleteThis was such a great post, and surprisingly, a reminder that I really needed today.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad that the post was something you were needing today, Kasey! We just pray that our writing finds people exactly where they are at! To encourage and grow each of us!
DeleteSo beautifully written!
ReplyDeleteI read that book before we got married and I LOVED it!
ReplyDeleteI love #6 (love is a verb...) - great post! :)
ReplyDeleteMe too! Reminds me that love is a CHOICE we must make everyday. A commitment we made when we said our wedding vows!!!! xx
Deletewow thanks for posting Elise! This just moved up to the top of my must-read! (I'll wait until after the giveaway to purchase) ;) Great post as always!!
ReplyDelete:) thanks for the encouragement, sweet, sweet friend!!!! hugs!!
DeleteMr. Gary Chapman and his crew are very generous people. They gave me a whole stack of books to giveaway! So if you don't get this one come follow me over at www.TrueAgape.com (if you haven't already) because I have two more copies of this book to giveaway in the future!
DeleteLOVE this post! I have that book as well and it is awesome! All of your points are SO true! Thanks for spreading some truths girl! Have a great day!
ReplyDeleteawww YAY! thanks for the words of affirmation, lovebug!!! I take em straight to my heart! Thank you! Glory to God!!!! hugging you! xx
DeleteI love your blog. I gave you a shot-out on my recent post! :)
ReplyDeletesay whaaaaa?! what an amazing surprise! EEEE! sqeal! popping over right now!!! xx
DeleteGreat post!! Coming up on 5 months of marriage tomorrow, these are things I am in the process of learning right now!! Thanks for the encouragement :)
ReplyDeleteSo many great and amazing things to learn in marriage! Communication is key. Along with having grace! Check us out at www.TrueAgape.com. We have lots of newlywed topics and ideas!
DeleteI just stumbled across your blog and love it- especially this post! I can definitely relate to some of these, as I've been married a short 6 months! So happy that you shared these truths with others!
ReplyDeletehttp://mrslaurelrhyne.blogspot.com/
Would love to have you over at TrueAgape.com as well at our newlywed blog! Always looking for more to join our conversations!
DeleteWhat a great post girls!! Thanks for being so open and honest!
ReplyDeleteI'll bookmark this for when I find The One :)
ReplyDeleteAnd I'll hold ya to it! Thumbs up.
DeleteThere is some awesome TRUTH in this post. Love it, but your #3 especially resonates with me. It is like you are writing the thoughts in my own head about that topic!
ReplyDelete